Marcela's Musings on Japan

Bad news. My fears came true about the homestay. After some light chitchat with Maiko, the conversation turned sober as she told me it would be better if I found another place. Although her mom had not said anything to me, she had been complaining to Maiko about me and the problems I had encountered, from getting lost to not eating enough. Apparently one is not supposed to express negative feelings in Japan and etiquette is very important, especially for the older generation. Any excuses such as jetlag or first-week confusion end up sounding lame when you are confronted like this. I apologized, but Maiko said it was normal behavior for an American, which upset me even more. After talking with her, I was sure that her mom hated me, but the next evening she was just as nice and even gave me a hug at one point before telling me that I was young and would have no problem finding another place. I apologized again and wanted to make it up to her, but she said she hadn't realized that there would be so much culture shock and that she was getting old. At this point, I definitely wish my mom had been there to smooth things over--they are similar ages and both appreciate good food and cooking among other things. She always reminds me of the importance of manners,neatness and such but real moms are much more forgiving to their own children I guess.

"If they were one person on an island, they could always say what they think. But they are not. We must all live with other people. This is our Japanese custom." Learning to Bow